Puyallup advocate outlines 10 signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships

Jeanette Murad, a domestic violence victim advocate with the City of Puyallup, presented a brief public-comment talk listing 10 signs of healthy relationships and 10 signs of unhealthy relationships and urged people in dangerous situations to trust their instincts and seek help.

Murad said the guidance is important because “1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men and half of the LGBTQIA plus community will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.” She opened by describing signs of a healthy relationship, including a comfortable pace, trust, honesty, independence, respect, equality, kindness, taking responsibility, healthy conflict and fun. “Healthy relationships bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself,” Murad said.

She then listed 10 signs of an unhealthy relationship to watch for: intensity (moving too quickly), possessiveness, manipulation, isolation from friends or family, sabotage (such as threats to one’s job or sharing private images), belittling that harms self-esteem, guilting, volatility or explosive anger, deflecting responsibility and betrayal (including infidelity or disclosure of private information). Murad cautioned that “Anybody can pretend to be somebody for the first 4 to 6 months of a relationship,” and that warning signs can escalate to abuse.

Murad concluded by telling listeners that resources were available for people in danger; the presentation did not specify the names or phone numbers of those resources in the recorded remarks. The comments occurred during the meeting’s public-comment portion and lasted several minutes.

The presentation was informational and did not include formal motions, votes or requests for board action.