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Parents press Toms River board on bathrooms and band director behavior during public comment
Summary
Multiple parents and students told the board they feel unsafe or uncomfortable with bathroom/locker‑room access rules based on gender identity and urged accommodation; a parent also asked the district to investigate allegations of a hostile band director at South High.
Several parents and students used the public comment period to press the board about two distinct concerns: district implementation of state rules on bathroom access based on gender identity, and alleged mistreatment by a high‑school band director.
Alyssa Saratelli said she understands New Jersey law permits bathroom access based on identity but said she and other parents had not received clear notice of school practices and expressed privacy and safety worries for girls: "Men's, women's bathrooms were created for the safety and the protection and privacy of women...I am concerned about us opening the bathrooms based upon identity," she said, and asked the board what the district’s plan is to protect small girls and whether parents will be notified.
A district official repeatedly responded that the schools must follow state law and encouraged parents to work with principals to develop accommodations in specific cases. When asked who on the board or in the district would raise challenges to the law, the staff member said the district follows the law and will make student safety a priority, advising parents to contact principals to arrange accommodations.
Jennifer Graham described a different concern about South High’s marching band program. She said the director at her child’s school fostered a "stressful, disorganized, and at times, hostile environment," singled students out publicly and encouraged some students to quit. "This makes me sad...Something needs to change. These kids deserve better," she said. The chair replied the district will look into her concerns.
Students also spoke: a seventh‑grader, JC LaFalls, and student Relyana Steffer said changing in front of boys makes them uncomfortable and that they may avoid changing or modify their gym participation to cope.
What’s next: the board said staff will follow up with school principals and investigate specific personnel concerns raised about the band; parents were told to contact building principals to develop accommodations where students feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
